I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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