we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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