It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
