dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
