You just made me feel so damn special
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
