it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
