3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
