Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize