Don't you send me to vm
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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