if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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