Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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