she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
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