And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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