Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
