Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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