if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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