So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
