did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
