So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
