There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
accomplished twins. life is a go
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
