took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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