Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We were destined to go to rehab together
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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