Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
