I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
