I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
