He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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