just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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