I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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