had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
