You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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