hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
smell my finger.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
