what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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