you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
