I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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