so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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