at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
