i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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