I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
