thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
