Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
