Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
