I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
