I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
