yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
