The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize