i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
