I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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