i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize