By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
