Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
