Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
