he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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