No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
