it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
