I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
