Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize