Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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