I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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