white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize