I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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