How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
