laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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