you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
