yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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