Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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