"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
