break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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