Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
