Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
