I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
