Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
