so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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