Whod you bang
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize