I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
