so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this just has baby written all over it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
