you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I deserve this hangover.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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