Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
