Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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