I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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