i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My life is pants optional.
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