Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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