I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
